Who's bringing home the bacon now?

So along with all the other archetypes we live out (and live up to) - the provider is a big one. Try this on for size: Family knows the man is out there 'earning a crust' 'bringing home the bacon' [$$$ cliches are flowing aren't they?], they respect that their father/husband/partner is doing his best - sometimes even (make)believing he is conquering the world. Then he makes that dreaded phone call that starts with "I have some news, are you sitting down?"

Reality strikes - he is out of work. The primary, potent provider is all of a sudden not fulfilling that role (or archetype). He questions his value, his ability to contribute, to provide, maybe even his potentcy as the (alpha) male of his pack. Not good for survival in the jungle if you would like to get on primal about about it!

But wait a minute, if we're looking to nature for the answers [plug the National Geographic here?] it is the male that is the hunter, and the female that is the gatherer.

Jokes aside, this is a real dilemma for a lot of homes right now. More and more redundancies, companies down-sizing, shutting down. It was only the other day in a conversation that a story was told of a 54 year old man, father of 4, primary provider, that fronted up for work blissfully unaware of the impending news that his colleagues already knew. He practiced in a very specialised area of law. He was wisked into a meeting with the firm's Partners, and swiftly told that his role no longer existed. No golden handshakes, just the box on the boardroom table with his personal belongings that had been packed for him. As it turns out, he will not regain employment in that area of law for at least another 5-10 years because of the social, political and economic circumstances at the time. The only immediate prospect for his family was for his wife to get some work, as he was either too old or over qualified.

Here is some timely advice shared with me by a good man, and that I shared with the man who had lost his job and his family:

"You know, you wife's holding the fort is a good thing and allows her some important self time and contribution to your family. The guilts of being a stay at home Dad and not "bringing the bacon" is difficult as I have found out over the past when my wife has been the one to "bring the bacon".
I understand your dilemma in those matters.
However it has been my experience that when I trip off into the guilts and try to make things happen, I do some major things that don't work.
2 prime examples come to mind

1. Make bad mistakes in judgement.
2. Miss out valuable lessons and joys while not being in the moment.

As time goes on, I learn to stay in the present more and more and enjoy the experience of not bringing home the bacon.

The injunction that nature has bestowed on me as a man is a curse whilst most wild beasts employ the female of the species to bring in the food.
Is it such a bad thing for your wife to do so?
I think not and urge you to enjoy this time to the fullest - magical things take place every day in so many forms.

It just takes us to get out of our own self's way for that to happen. Easier said than done - but I hope this helps.

Be kind to yourself."